![]() ![]() (When was the last time you heard a spider say anything?) If you can see it for free, give it a try. (One spider chasing the heroine seems to change size constantly-almost as if the animator couldn't get it quite right) They have a trumpeting roar that sounds suspiciously like an elephant and which detracts from any realism they may have had. There is no sense of scale or consistency. Lines such as, "This is creepy" are spoken in the same tone you might use to say "We need milk." If the characters on screen are not afraid of their situation, why should the audience be scared? The spiders themselves never seem very real. The actors also fail to generate any sense of urgency. It also lacks creativity and fails to create any suspense or scares. Did you know that?" It makes one wonder if the writers added that for the 3-year-olds who may be watching. One example is when the made scientist gloats "Spiders are carnivores. The biggest problem with this movie is its simplistic dialogue. Special effects (again a mix of animatronics and CGI) are OK. I also can't explain why the spiders sound just like elephants, but what the hell. The other actors, especially bland, square-jawed Cromer and Moll, who seems to be playing the syringe-wielding mad doctor (who is looking to create a disease-free human race) strictly for camp value, don't fair near as well. It may be Sigourney Weaver-lite in this context (right down to the tank top), but Niznik anchors the uneven film well through the finale. ![]() She's a tiny blonde, but she's tough responding to an aggressive sexual come-on by beating the crap out of the guy, kicking crotches, taking down two burly pirates on an elevator and using a man-made blowtorch and spear to kill off the spiders, while dragging her injured hubby along for the ride. Though Alex is a little annoyingly slow to catch on at first, it is her character and the spirited performance by Niznik in the role that make this movie at least tolerable. It's up to Alex to fend off the bad guys, elude the mutant spiders (which are eventually set free when the power is turned off) and find the antidote for her husband. Other victims are kept in incubation chambers until the implanted eggs hatch. But the antibiotics he has been given for his injured neck are actually drugs to incapacitate him so he can be used to incubate a spider. Jason begins snooping around the ship and realizes something bad is going on when he uncovers a cooler full of frozen cadavers. On board is a seemingly hospitable captain (Daniel Quinn) who has the hots for Alex, a ranting doctor (Richard "Bull" Moll), who looks them over and calls them "perfect specimens" and a bunch of rough-looking Russian crew members, who turn out to be the pirates from the beginning. Jason is mildly injured, but they're picked up by another cargo vessel headed for New Guinea. The next day, a young couple blonde photographer Alexandra (Stephanie Niznik) and her dimpled Golden Boy husband Jason (Greg Cromer), stumble onto the debris, find a corpse and then end up in the middle of a bad storm that sinks their boat. Some pirates invade a pleasure ship and beat, tie up and abduct the people on board before blowing up the ship. Fair, watchable sequel takes place entirely at sea. ![]()
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